Everyone is doing the best they can, and this understanding changes everything!


Let's reflect on how often we question, condemn, and have anxiety about how others and we act. Often this happens many times a day. It's as if our thought patterns are so deeply ingrained that we can't change ourselves.

The truth is actually that EVERYONE is doing the best they can based on their circumstances, every second of their lives. That doesn't mean they always do good deeds or that their decisions are particularly wise, but based on their genes, childbearing, upbringing, friends, education, experiences and all the other inputs that shaped them into who they are, they can't do anything but what they do.

Let's stop and reflect properly! What do I say? Is human behavior deterministic, i.e. causal? Yes, to a large extent it is. There is a reason for everything we do, if we take the time to really understand the totality of ourselves and others. It goes from little things like how we brush our teeth to life-changing decisions like divorce, quitting a job, and even murder. The latter may seem absurd, but there are reasons behind murder, albeit very complex and difficult to analyze.

I realize that few can understand the above. "Surely he should have realized he was doing wrong, it was obvious". The problem is that we always see an event from our own perspective, and not that of others. Moreover, we should understand that a certain action can be done consciously or unconsciously. In addition, an action has been preceded by varying degrees of understanding a) that there is a problem b) how the problem concerns the person c) what is a correct action d) the will/manner to act. Much can go wrong in this chain of events, which depends on the sum of everything within us.

Thus, the conclusion is unambiguous. No matter what happens, the individual always does the best he can. If he could have made a wiser decision or acted better, he would have done so. If you still doubt my conclusion, keep reflecting! Once you have the insight, you will never be able to argue back.

Okay, but what does this matter? It means that we can never condemn ourselves or anyone else for what they do or have done. Wow! This is no small thing! It doesn't mean that I, as a citizen, shouldn't work for a just world or that I should remain silent when injustices take place. On the contrary! A wise person acts wisely. But, we should be careful when we condemn the other for things that they did not understand or had the ability to handle differently. It would be to punish twice, since the accused already carries a heavy mental baggage. Instead, the person should be given counselling so that the internal problems can be resolved and the person healed. But that doesn't just apply to other people, it also applies to yourself. I'm pretty sure you often condemn yourself, "if only I had done that instead". Forget it! You can try to learn from everything you experience, but you should never condemn either others or yourself. If you follow this advice, I can guarantee that you will feel much better and that the world will be a much nicer place.

I repeat. Not condemning does not mean being passive. It means being deeply empathetic and understanding that dialogue and guidance is the only way forward. Eliminating judgment of others and oneself is deeply transformative and changes the worldview completely.

The above applies to problems at all levels, from individual to global.

© 2022 Wisdom4future. All texts can be copied, used and distributed.
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